she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
