I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
