i think my mom watched the whole time
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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