just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
