He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Everyone says I win the strip club
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
