My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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