My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
