yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have fence marks all over my body
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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