I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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