Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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