and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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