I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
