I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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