When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize