I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize