you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize