Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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