She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
