Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
