we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
