He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
