But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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