I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
