I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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