Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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