I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize