smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
