We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
