i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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