well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
As shirtless as possible
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
