My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
