oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
FUCK WHALES
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
