The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
