I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
3pm strippers are depressing
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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