you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
