small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
