I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize