batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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