If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
