Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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