yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
