I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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