whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
