Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
