GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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