you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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