I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
