and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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