He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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