i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
