smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize