I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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