How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
