Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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