So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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