You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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