Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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