i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
