i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
