remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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