I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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