no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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