If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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