By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
