Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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