Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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