He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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