I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.