Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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  (602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti
  Replies (16) Good night (837) Bad night (4451)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

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  (250): my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on http://tfl.nu/e38v
  Replies (19) Good night (4819) Bad night (1062)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  what drugs are you on?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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  (404): I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles! (1-404): what drugs are you on? (404): none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later http://tfl.nu/mtfu
  Replies (26) Good night (5441) Bad night (962)
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  (213): View more from California

  she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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  (213): she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies http://tfl.nu/m8ne
  Replies (33) Good night (2678) Bad night (4959)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1521) Bad night (2854)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on

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  (814): I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on http://tfl.nu/jkd3
  Replies (3) Good night (3006) Bad night (942)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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  (208): Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore http://tfl.nu/7jsm
  Replies (11) Good night (3855) Bad night (1066)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot

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  (605): I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot http://tfl.nu/d13k
  Replies (4) Good night (1664) Bad night (1208)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

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  (413): And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center http://tfl.nu/rfee
  Replies (9) Good night (2702) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.

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  (902): It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped. http://tfl.nu/3q2q
  Replies (2) Good night (1566) Bad night (703)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Our room will be decorated with my urine.

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  (434): Our room will be decorated with my urine. http://tfl.nu/12hg
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (1892)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you

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  (814): you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you http://tfl.nu/0g1k
  Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (1543)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  I love you more by the minute

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  (917): I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning (1-917): I love you more by the minute http://tfl.nu/4g8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1616) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.

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  (314): You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex. http://tfl.nu/sc6l
  Replies (4) Good night (776) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever

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  (732): I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever http://tfl.nu/kzzi
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (137)

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