Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?

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(540): View more from Virginia

She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.

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(309): View more from Illinois

they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.

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(303): View more from Colorado

His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse

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(708): View more from Illinois

Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.

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(425): View more from Washington

I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey

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