Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt

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  (248): yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt http://tfl.nu/91j7
  Replies (11) Good night (1093) Bad night (3120)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  What?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Details.

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  (248): it cannot be done, he is unbreakable. (1-248): What? (248): <name>..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him. (1-248): Details. http://tfl.nu/v8u3
  Replies (6) Good night (2028) Bad night (760)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.

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  (512): i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th. http://tfl.nu/3s5y
  Replies (9) Good night (2678) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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  (865): Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand. http://tfl.nu/3nr4
  Replies (31) Good night (5064) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

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  (256): Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk http://tfl.nu/ail4
  Replies (33) Good night (4318) Bad night (1259)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love

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  (732): she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love http://tfl.nu/knwu
  Replies (35) Good night (12426) Bad night (1166)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

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  (303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536
  Replies (8) Good night (2697) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza

  (917): View more from New York City

  The hookers weren't a dream get tested

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  (914): I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza (917): The hookers weren't a dream get tested http://tfl.nu/wjzv
  Replies (3) Good night (1308) Bad night (2589)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

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  (937): I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before. (419): ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return. http://tfl.nu/j7d7
  Replies (21) Good night (2193) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3310) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.

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  (516): 8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine. http://tfl.nu/fqbx
  Replies (10) Good night (2162) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.

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  (616): I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate. http://tfl.nu/d8ay
  Replies (4) Good night (1360) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".

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  (613): You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast". http://tfl.nu/iqmw
  Replies (12) Good night (2394) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  Oh shit. This is getting real.

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  (504): Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning. (1-504): Oh shit. This is getting real. http://tfl.nu/zlj3
  Replies (8) Good night (1177) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here

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  (406): this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here http://tfl.nu/accs
  Replies (5) Good night (337) Bad night (553)

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