I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
