My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
honey bunches of taint.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
